How not to be a fitblbce

It has been the case since ancient times that we are most pleased with the misfortunes of strangers. If we modify this saying easily, we can also say that we are most amused by the stupidity of others. If this were not the case, each forum would not contain several sections on this topic, which is a grateful topic for almost every reader. If we paraphrase the central sentence of every good American drama, we come to the point of this article: iron, which is just trying to lift. ”So read the following eight full of frightening examples from life, or let it be read to those who still belong to the“ fitblbce ”. We will start lightly, but it will slowly tighten.

Базовая программа тренировок на массу для мужчин и девушек

1) Perhaps everyone has experienced the feeling that you are crawling down a hot street and in the near future you will not have a chilled ten, but more than a dozen repetitions of a deadlift or similar appetizer. Along the way, you will pass a couple of acquaintances “from the iron” who finished their training a while ago (or someone forced them to run a peace race and then poured a few buckets of water on them), which will definitely not motivate you much, unless you are a masochist. But what will definitely take away the motivation is a kind of perverted form of fata morgana, when you see a smiling individual in a branded set, walking away from the cardio zone without a sign of a single drop of sweat.

Tip one: Once you go to the gym, try to make some effort and don’t do this activity as a rest.

2) When I mentioned the branded set, which is usually synonymous with guys who don’t have to worry about having at least a few pounds of meat in the freezer and having paid an annual ticket to the front row for an iron concert, because it’s for them usually provided by my mother (or family elf, if the person knows Harry Potter in person), I can’t miss other styles of clothing that evoke negative prejudices and gnashing of teeth. I’ve seen a lot in the gym over the years, but I have a bizarre chart of the most inappropriate accessories in my head. Third place goes to à la Tupac jeans, the owner of which not only can’t squat, but can’t walk properly, which he solves by taking up a bench-press for half the opening hours and practicing his whole body there gradually. The second place in my eyes was won by a hum over half of the head, whose owner had taken too long a heart to keep his limbs, and no one had told him yet that there was no need to take care of the vault or nape muscles. The imaginary winner took my breath away one day in May, when instead of tightening his belt and bandages before a heavy series of some complex exercises, he pulled out a nice unbuttoned leather case, pulled it out with a graceful motion and immediately put on medium-sized Dolce & Gabbana glasses. with a jump with its own weight.

Tip two: Fashion is a useful thing, but it really doesn’t fit into the gym.

3) Sunglasses as an accessory in the gym will certainly be enjoyed by other participants, but at least after the initial shock they do not look disturbing. All you have to do is take a picture of the person in question with your mobile phone and you can stop thinking about him, because you can then see the madness at any time. The problem is when someone brings equipment that will definitely disturb you. By this equipment I mean not only shoulder cassettes so popular in the eighties, but a much smaller device called a handsfree. Many times I’ve seen various managers and similarly important people come to the gym with the phone constantly ringing, ceremoniously turn it off with almost orgasmic pleasure, and enjoy only the sound of the tinkling of iron and the occasional shy request for reassurance. However, most of those who turn a gym into a switchboard are not important. The worst categories of people are those who come to the gym, change with great grace, swallow a handful to a bucket of anabolizers (preferring the names Giant, Monster and Killer) and then start dialing half of their (usually very long) phone book. Winning buzz?”Hi, man, I’m in the gym and I’m going to the legpress in a minute, just so you know.”

Tip three: Take the gym as a temple, where you will be cursed as punishment for talking too much, after which you will weaken.

4) You may say that no one with a phone can distract you during training, because it is not so loud. But who is loud is the so-called “weakman”. At least that’s what the working name sounds like. Just to be clear, I am a supporter of the old school, rusty iron covered with a layer of magnesium, and it is clear to me that sometimes it is necessary to roar to overcome gravity. But what I don’t understand is the penchant for imitating a baboon, to whom someone pinches the tail in a vice and lets a current into it. Unfortunately, there is not just one potential winner in this discipline, because I have already seen several guys who are already shouting while loading a barbell, which they will lift for at least a minute for the first time. I don’t know what it is, but they will probably be exhausted at the roar, because the performances are definitely not dazzling.

Tip four: You won’t scare the barbell about the weight of a small child with a terrible roar, it will just laugh at you when it squeezes you.

5) Speaking of dumbbells, you certainly sometimes find that you need a barbell, but it just hangs on someone’s belt and take a few kilos lighter or heavier barbell for some professional-looking reason is simply out of the question. This sucks, but deep down you know that there is no barbell queue and that you will have to wait from time to time. But what sucks much more is the situation when you want the barbell, no one exercises with it, but you still can’t get to it, because someone is standing in front of the stand and doing a thousand repetitions of some pacvik. In addition, if you want to diversify your training with a pyramid, bypassing some obscure individual will nicely stretch the time spent in the gym. This phenomenon is probably due to lower social intelligence and, in addition to gyms, it can also be widely observed in public transport, when mothers walk with prams,

Tip Five: When you think of creating a training stand from a place for a few minutes, think for a few seconds to see if you are interfering with someone else in the same mind.

6) Obstruction as we know it, however, apart from gnashing of teeth, does not have worse consequences (colleagues do not beat themselves in the gym, do they?). It can have consequences if ruthlessness and stupidity are added to it. For a long time I thought that only I went to such a gym, where dogs or children run around freely, but there was something nice about everything that one could smile at, so I didn’t pay much attention to it. But the disappointment came at a time when I experienced such irresponsibility that I thought for a while it must be a joke – the mother of a several-month-old offspring decided to fit back in shape after giving birth, so she went to the gym, but unfortunately also with the offspring , which she carried around the gym in a gray basket (I don’t mean the one from Kaufland) and always placed it somewhere where she could see him safely. Unfortunately, here and there he put it under someone’s sloping bench and the like (no, it is not appropriate to envy the practitioner the motivation to pick it up, otherwise he will kill someone). I understand that gyms have become so popular lately that they have literally become popular (you can already see people there, not just monsters), but you need to realize that strengthening is not billiards and it doesn’t go far for injuries.

Tip six: Take care of your own safety and that of others, you can work elsewhere.

7) With a small detour, we have come to the point where you can endanger others by your actions. This also happens with “trainers” who are certified by the Internet, but do not hesitate to send their advice further into the world, and thus harm more than science fiction (or rather fanatical) documents about anabolic steroids. This is not to say that if you don’t have a course behind you and you can’t boast 10 years of experience and the first place out of three competitions, you can’t advise anyone. Helping beginners is a laudable activity, but all in moderation. It is important to pass on only those knowledge and lessons whose accuracy you are absolutely sure of, which usually means that you have learned them from someone more experienced (absolutely, not relatively). If you stick to this, it is possible that you will be able to get “knowledge” out of gyms, such as that BCAAs are useless and will not stand up to a multivitamin,

Tip seven: Don’t play the coach unless you have the necessary knowledge.

8) The last piece of advice on how not to be a fitter is actually more of a summary of what everyone hates in gyms, but it still happens. Don’t really tap anyone’s shoulder when it’s in the middle of a series to ask how long they’ll be practicing. When someone is in the middle of a series, it’s as if time has stopped, and nothing is so important that you have to interrupt them because of it. Actually, with one exception… If you don’t know how to do an exercise technically correctly, you’d better ask. The sight of someone destroying their joints with each repetition swing often causes physical pain to those around the gym. Get advice. And last but not least, be that love and goodness and pay attention at least to basic hygiene. The towel is not used by tremors so that it is not pushed by the bench, but so that no one drowns on it.

Tip eight: Don’t bother anyone in the middle of the series, don’t invent your own exercise creations and remember that even a half-meter circumference of the biceps does not entitle you to behave like cattle.